This is Why I Love Writing

If stuff like this got taught as part of the satire and parody spiel in high school english, more people would think reading and writing is cool. My fave is from the Stormtrooper Commander, mostly because it's pitch-perfect for standard corporate speak in which one must point out flaws yet work toward a solution while barely restraining the desire to descend into a long string of "OMG! WTF? SRSLY?"