To the upstanding citizens of Springfield:
Thanks for not pressing charges. As you can clearly see in the following pages, the time travel agency I set up on Main Street was purely for research purposes. I apologize for any misunderstandings, but my work ethic required me to keep the agency seeming as genuine as possible. Please accept my gift of personalized, signed editions of this novel as tokens of my appreciation and as a symbol of my sincere regrets that so many skeletons were tossed out of closets during the affair.
By opening the box of books, you waive all rights to sue me.