Friday, August 19, 2005

Delivery Wants

After reading this post about what one woman wants for her delivery, I got to thinking about what I want. All I really want is everything to have a safe and healthy resolution. Andrew's OK, I'm OK, Mark's OK. Beyond that, I'm fairly open to whatever happens, happens. Whether I have a quick and easy labor, or if I'm in agony for hours even with the epidural (which, I've learned, freaks me out more than the pain of delivering my son; something about seeing exactly where that catheter is going to go just gives me the heebie-jeebies; I don't like the idea of anything being that close to my spinal column, I don't care how safe and tried-and-true the damn thing is; of course, I'm sure I'll get over my ick-factor in a heartbeat if the pain becomes unbearable), or whether Something Happens and I have to have a C-section, as long as everyone's safe and healthy, I'm good. Sure, I've got a few preferred scenarios, but there's this innate sense of "however it happens, it's gonna get Andrew out of me and tangibly into our family and we'll go from there."

Actually, I do have a big want. To deliver before my due date. I was extraordinarily jealous of the women in the breastfeeding class last night who had August due dates. I love Drew, and while it's been fun having him wriggle and squirm and kick and punch my innards, I'm ready to have him in my arms.

By the way, of all the oh-so-pleasant terms used to describe baby's diapers (we learned what we need to expect and see to make sure Drew's getting all the breastmilk he needs last night), "explosive" is by far the most disturbing.


Dave said...

Kellie, if it makes you feel any better, unless they're incompetent, I don't believe the epidural will be approaching close to your actual spinal cord. The spinal cord doesn't go all the way down the back. In the lower back there's just a bunch of nerves that continue to the legs and whatnot. That's why epidurals/spinal taps are done in the lower back.

Kellie said...

I know it should make me feel better. I think I've just run up on one of those "beyond all reason: ick" things. Like I said, a few bad contractions, and I'm sure I won't give a rat's ass. Plus, if I can avoid the epidural, we also avoid the possibility of Mark passing out due to needle squeamishness. :)

Dave said...

Well, a woman had a spinal tap when I was in the ER not long ago and I didn't hear any sounds of pain from the room so I don't think it hurts that much (especially since the woman was extremely antsy about the whole thing and had to have it attempted more than once). At least since the needle goes in the back you can't see it coming. As for Mark, he can turn around or get drugged or something. He's usually pretty useless anyway.

Kellie said...

Seriously, it's not the needle pain or any of the pain of an epidural going in that bothers me. I wish I could explain it. Just something my mind keeps tripping over. Earlier in the pregnancy, it was an episiotomy that gave me the willies. But I've since learned that they only do those about 12% of the time at this hospital and do other things to help the perenium stretch and prevent tearing.

And Mark has some uses. He's been doing nearly all of the cooking and stuff this year so I can rest and write when I'm not at work. But useless is a pretty good word whenever the doc comes at me with a needle. In fact, I often have to help HIM through the ordeal more often than I help myself get over the brief pain.