Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Trouble With Growing Up

While yesterday's post of self-awareness and enlightenment does a nice job of making me seem mostly well-adjusted and right with the world, it left out a key piece of information. The knowledge gained by catharsis and navel-gazing is great when it's there and helpful and makes you interact with the world in marvelous ways. But it's not always there. Or, rather, it's always there, but our damned dirty ape brains can't always get to it. So we can acheive enlightenment all we want and still wind up being compelte jerks to each other when it counts.

There are times that I wish I hadn't looked closely at myself and tried to improve my way of looking at the world. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be wincing about stupid things I've said and done in the past, ways I've mistreated people, times I've been so self-absorbed that I couldn't see the needs of others, or, and this is what really irks me, moments when I've been so focused on my life that I missed opportunities of friendship and mentorship.

Here's the kicker: I'm going to do it again. Because as much as I can sit here and post about "happiness is a journey, not a destination" and live life for the moment and yadda yadda yadda--it's a very safe bet that when I need that understanding most, my lovely little brain will be spinning a loop elsewhere and I'm going to do or say something stupid that I'll wince at later.

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