Friday, February 15, 2008

Permission Slip

I, Kellie Hazell, do hereby give myself permission to write complete and utter crap in the composition of any and all first drafts of any and all works of fiction I commit to digital space, notebooks, looseleaf paper (wide and college ruled), note cards, sticky notes, and any other surface deemed suitable for the purpose of writing from this point forward until such time as I decide to revoke said permission or until the end of the world.

Crap shall be defined as any or all of the following:

  1. Prose that contains any or all of the following: poor word choice, spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, passive voice, repetition, cliches, and any other wince-inducing construction of words not listed herein.

  2. Characters who are inconsistent, stereotypical, annoying, angst-ridden, whiny, and behave in any manner that is readily conducive to acting out the story that is playing in my head.

  3. Plot points that are obvious, overdone, unimaginative, boring, repetitive, and in any other way shorthand for the story trying to make its way out of my thick skull.

  4. Descriptions of scenery, machinery, technology and job expertise that are sketched or heavily reliant on hasty googling or wiki, or that are completely lacking in anything but the barest of bones.

  5. Narratives that do not adhere to any traditional or uncoventional means of logically laying out a story.

  6. Any other crime against the English language and art of storytelling that in any way assists with the translation of the story in my head to a draft that can be improved into a saleable novel.

Signed digitally by the author, one Kellie Hazell of

Witnessed by The Internet this Fifteenth day of February in the year Two Thousand and Eight.

Feel free to replicate this, add to it, detract from it, rail against it, and comment on this permission slip as you see fit. You can even forge your muse's signature if you are not the responsible party in your writing process.

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