The Obligatory 2009 Retrospective

For the half-dozen stubborn souls still regularly reading this blog after a very sparse year, I thank you and look forward to a fresh start in 2010.

As for 2009, I have a nice long list of excuses to take me off the hook for writing so little, for taking poor care of my bod, for going long stretches of time not hanging with my family, and for not giving as much of my skills and talents to my writing group in the position I was in this year. Thing is, all those excuses stem from a choice I made rather unwittingly at first but then continued to make without planning much beyond said choice. That choice? My day job became a career. I'm not very upset about that choice. I love what I do during the work week. It's very satisfying and it keeps the anal-retentive perfectionist control-freak side of my personality extremely busy and happily so.

If I could go back to the beginning of 2009, I would still make this choice, but I would be smarter about it. I wouldn't just assume that my life could fall into place around my career choice without effort on my part. I wouldn't assume that choosing something as a career means the career naturally progresses according to my effort and abilities without reference to the careers and attitudes of others around me. I didn't make these assumptions consciously, but I realized I had made them sometime in the fall and didn't take steps to correct them or work around them. That's what my journey since Thanksgiving has been about.

So for 2010, I will not accept exhaustion at the end of the work day or the weekend as an excuse not to write for at least an hour or not to do something active with the family for at least three hours on the weekend. I know my body's limits and a little fatigue is not going to deter me. No more wuss-fest after a long day and week. I think most of the exhaustion I felt was more mental and focused on my logic-slave side anyway than the parts of me I employ writing and being with Drew and Mark. I can compartmentalize better. My body has been in the habit of not falling asleep until 11PM and waking up at 5AM. Rather than toss and turn in bed for an hour or two every night and doze through the last half-hour before the alarm goes off every morning, I'm going to use those times for writing and exercising, respectively.

All of that being said, however, I did submit a short story twice this year, once to a contest, once to an on-line zine. Got rejected and earned the ability to write-off my writing expenses for tax purposes. I did bring in many amazing speakers to my writing group and contributed to another fabulous year for our little volunteer-run chapter of RWA. I also had three writing retreats this year (the first of which was spent sick and huddled under the covers afer about 2K of crap-tastic words; the second was spent playing solitaire after about 2K of pure schlock; and the third produced 3K of great stuff that launched a project I'm using for a revision course that will keep me on a good schedule for the first half of 2010 and should seque right into fixing THUMB for the second half). While it was mostly stress-induced, I also lost 30 pounds this year and am now a size 8 (there's some residual flab that needs toning, and I'd like to maintain this weight without the negativity of severe stress). And we did spend a good deal of time together as a family, also getting Drew in the habit of brushing his teeth every day and practicing writing his letters regularly. And the career is coming along quite well.

So 2009 wasn't a bust though it kind of feels like it. Mostly because I know I can do better.

On Being Sick During a Hyped Outbreak

I'm recovering from an upper respiratory bug that started like the myriad others I've endured since Drew went back to daycare in September. The only difference is that this one sunk its fangs hard into me after three days and sent me to bed for the next three. The number of times I've heard folks ask me if it's swine flu have not been amusing. I work in a medical clinic, so most of the swine flu lines have been jokes. If I worked in a less-informed environment, I'm sure I'd be very annoyed by now.

If anything, this URI might have morphed into something like bronchitis or a sinus infection. But I definitely don't have swine flu. No vomiting, no diarrhea, and my temperture only broke 100 for about an hour, maybe two. Otherwise, it's been an annoying low-grade in the 99s.

So, please. Just keep washing your hands, pushing fluids, guzzling OJ, and doing all the normal stuff you'd do during the height of cold and flu season. Don't flinch over every cough and sniffle.

Emerging from the Work Daze

Since about the middle of February, the day job has been running my life. One of my team members resigned and all of our studies had extremely urgent deadlines for a big conference next month. This past week marked the last of my current load of studies screaming at me with a red-hot deadline. The upside of all of this is that pretty much all of my studies are squeaky clean and caught up in all aspects.

The downside is that, for the past two months, the day job has been all-consuming and kicked me into career mode. Now that the insanity has passed, I'm having to work to remember how I had my life structured and ordered to address the day job, the family, the writing group, and the writing. Figuring out the juggling act for the first three hasn't been too hard, mostly because they have daily necessities that I can't just set aside after too long short-changing them. The writing, however...

To be honest, I've been kicking writing to the curb since December and maybe even November. At first it was because of family issues that needed a good deal of time and attention. Then it morphed into my desire to treat the day job like a career equal to or, at times, even above writing. I didn't make a conscious decision to do so, I just started with little thoughts and gestures here and there and, by the end of January, I had begun considering this job in terms of how to advance my company and myself over the next ten years. Then the recent madness hit and there was no time for thoughts outside of getting through each day, each week with most of my sanity intact and without entirely ignoring my husband and child or the requirements of my position in my writing group.

As the week wrapped up, and I found myself able to pick and choose which of the handful of non-urgent work tasks I could do, I started reminding myself that the day job is not the only career I want, that I have something else in mind for the rest of my life. So I dutifully mapped out what writing projects I wanted to dive back into and what outstanding issues they each had. As I read through a couple of short story drafts I want to shape up and submit and scanned through the novella-to-novel revision I haven't really touched since December, I ran into a new dilemma.

I've forgotten why I love each of these ideas.

Well, not in general. And not in any dangerous way that has me questioning if I really do want to pursue writing as a career. But in the specifics that made it not only fun but worthwhile to put the butt-in-chair, fingers-on-keyboard and face the inner critic's utter disdain for the prose that needs to be fixed. So I've been doing a decent amount of journaling and thinking and listening to story-inspired playlists to recapture the sense of joy I held for each of these projects even in the depths of the oh-so-pleasant bouts of "I SUCK I'LL NEVER PUBLISH OHMIGOD HOW COULD I EVER CONSIDER MYSELF A WRITER THIS IS VILE VILE VILE".

I'm hoping that one more night of a concerted effort to recapture the love will kickstart me into the regular writing schedule I really need to re-establish. I've got a lot of itchiness to be writing these stories, particularly the novella revision, so I'm not worried that there'll be nothing to resurrect. I just need to find the right access point, I think. Revising short stories wasn't it as all that idea netted me was depression over how far I have yet to go before I'm ready to break into publishing. (Silver lining time: I've figured out that about a third of the way into any project, I shift from character-driven stories to plot-driven mad dashes to the finish. And I'm finding that it's remarkably hard to reshift a plot-driven draft into a character-driven finished product. This is the silver lining because it's a problem defined. I can deal with well-defined problems.)

I think part of getting back into the regular swing of writing will also translate into regular blog posts. I know, I've said this many times before. It feels right to say it again, though. We'll see what comes of it.

The Reality of Office Politics

(This is yet another interpretation of Murphy's Law. I think scientists need to seriously start considering Murphy's Law as the Grand Unified Theory of Everything in Nature.)

In any given office setting, no matter how well you perform your job, there will always be someone who sees only your mistakes. Events and timelines will conspire to ensure that your superiors are present when this coworker decides to draw attention to your mistakes. The situation will also be such that your defense would either seem silly in the context (as it would sound defensive and defeat the purpose) or would take up too much time and, well, see the first part of this paragraph.

Usually I can shake this off: I'm good at my job and the folks that need to know it, know it, and they know it well. I'm not perfect and welcome the opportunity to see where I can improve my performance. Also, some people will just never like you.

When I encountered this reality last week, I did shrug it away. But when it showed up again this week early in the morning before the caffiene had kicked in to shore me up after a terrible night's sleep...I let it get to me. Just enough to make me vent to Mark on the drive home.

I have a feeling I'll be over it tomorrow. Futile office politics just aren't worth the mental energy.

What I've Been Up To

Work's been crazy lately as we packed up our old facility and moved to the new one this week (actually, the move happened today, and I missed out on that fun; they didn't want too many hands in the pot, and it seemed silly to drive 55 miles only to get in the way; I did, however, pull a twelve hour day on Thursday to help get everything packed up).

On top of the regular work I'm doing to get a couple of studies caught up and into a reasonable steady state, I've been diving into a project that hasn't been touched for all of 2008 and even some of 2007, and there's a deadline of Nov 24 for all that data that hasn't been entered yet. And, of course, Drew's brought home the next in a line of bugs from school and has lovingly passed it on to me (Mark seems to be immune).

Add to that the MRI from hell last weekend (over an hour with my legs taped together in an extremely painful position; I sobbed throughout the last fifteen or twenty minutes of the experience; the only positive is that my head wasn't into the tube as I had to go in feet first and they focused on my pelvis). More on this Monday when I have an appointment with the rheumatologist and she tells me the verdict.

I was supposed to buckle down and get back to work on PPR revisions today, but see above referenced bug gifted from Drewbie. So instead I'm using the limited brain function I've got tonight to get some work done for my RWA chapter. Tomorrow I'm hoping the bug won't be harrassing me as much, and I'll get back to my writing. I've had to take a break from it for too long. I'm getting cranky.

The Back in Daycare Crud

We knew it was going to happen. We knew it would likely happen at least once a year. We didn't expect it to happen at the end of Drew's very first week back in daycare.

While suffering from only some minor congestion himself, Drew has lovingly passed on some sort of cold/flu ickiness to Momma and Daddy. Daddy is congested with a sore throat and mostly feeling lousy. Momma felt listless earlier today (and napped for an hour and a half to make the feeling that much more authentic) and has a sore throat.

This means that, since I'm in a probationary trial thingamajig at work, I can't take time off (and I'm already pushing that by demanding as a condition of my acception their employment offer three days off in October due to a pre-existing trip to Vegas planned and booked) and Mark generally isn't able to take time off due to being like one of two people who has to manage and care for (translation: actually, you're better off not knowing what my cruel cruel husband has to do to the dear sweet things) the mice, that the chances of my resuming regular blogging this week are slim to none. Better luck next week.

Oh, Lookee! A Learning Curve!

The brain is fried. Not only did I force it to work a full eight hours today, I also forced it to concentrate through an hour and a half commute each way. Then there's the learning curve. Clinical research is not a new thing to me and, theoretically, neither is cancer research. The technicalities of oncology as a medical field of study is a realm of new with tantalizingly familiar vistas. So short story: love the new job, will love it even more once I find my groove and get jiggy with the jargon.

Short story for Drew: Five to ten minutes of meltdown when we dropped him off at daycare, the sounds of which haunted me throughout the rest of the drive. But, true to Drew Monster style, he got over it a couple of minutes after we left and was a happy and eager kid the rest of the day. Definitely excited about going back tomorrow; we'll see how he handles it when he remembers that school involves large chunks of time w/o the 'rents.

Longer stories (or at least longer musings) to follow as I get the hang of this working full-time thing again.

Find My 'Cool

I'm not sure what manner of divine inspiration visited Mark and me when we started talking to Drew about going to daycare, but inspired we were. Instead of calling it daycare, Mark and I called it school (this is not a lie; the service is more a preschool/daycare hybrid than anything else). Drew found the entire concept of school extremely exciting and is eager to go. Of course, he can't quite say "school" and calls it "cool" instead, but really drags out the "oo".

He had his first taste of school last Friday. We had a free trial day at the facility and took advantage of it so I could leave as early as possible for a writing retreat this weekend. Drew had a blast. He happily waved good-bye to Daddy and got busy playing. Granted, he noticed about five minutes in that Daddy wasn't coming back and he was alone and this was not exactly OK by him. But after a couple minutes of crying, he shook off the disappointment because school was just that exciting for him.

He's in a room with other kids who aren't quite on the potty training ball yet, so as to keep their little minds collectively focused on moving forward in that area. Here's hoping peer pressure succeeds where stickers have failed. At any rate, he's looking forward to going back, which is nice.

On the other hand, he does seem to understand that going to school means the end of spending his days at home with Momma. So he's foregoing his nap. And climbing all over me while I work. And generally making a nuisance of himself as I try to transition my current DDJ responsibilities to my coworkers. While that is annoying, it is still sweet in its own way.

It's exciting, though, to see how happy he is about this change and how quickly he's taking to it. It's something a relief to me, too, that trained professionals in child education will be guiding his daily learning rather than me. One thing the past two years have taught me is that my skill set in education certainly does not involve any age under 14.

LONG Overdue Update

Um. Yeah. So the Month of Short Fiction has turned into the Month of Totally Slacking Off. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I've been doing some work on writing, particularly mapping out a better way to write PPR, though it means taking it from about 30K words to something more like 70K or more. I'm still trying to decide what to do about that and if I should focus my writing attention on that project rather than hunker down and fix THUMB. There are a couple of factors that have emerged this month to make this decision more difficult.

First and foremost, I can now explain the one or two vague references to potential changes. I am moving on from the current DDJ to a new DDJ. The current DDJ was looking to be gone come January, so I've been trying to find something else to bring in the specific amount of dough required. The new DDJ does than and then some, though it also comes with the requirement of working full-time up in the Phoenix 'burbs. Drew will be attending a daycare/preschool hybrid (one of two we'll be touring today, in fact), and the commute will actually be something of a family experience, seeing as how my new job is only fifteen minutes beyond Mark's. A fun way to carpool.

Secondly, I accepted a request to take on arguably the most challenging leadership position in my RWA chapter next year. No, I will not be doing this and the newsletter--I'm not completely stupid. I'll be responsible for arranging all of our speakers for next year's meetings. In addition to serving my chapter (something that I really really like doing as it keeps me involved in a wonderful writing community), this means I might well be dripping in editor and agent contacts in the romance genre by this time next year. This has led me to consider revising PPR into the novel it so wants to be as the more pressing of my two writing projects. I mean, what good are genre contacts if you have a novel that most of the folks you'll be chatting with don't actually represent?

Finally, PPR served as an excellent window into my writing process as I struggled through parts of THUMB last year. I'm thinking it might not be a bad idea to use that story in a similar fashion so I can tackle THUMB with some better understanding of what it is I'm doing.

So, yeah, time to sit down and ponder ponder contemplate the writing goals as the basic structure of my life goes through a shake-up. Mark and I have already done a fairly good job of figuring out how to weather that shake-up (theoretically at least) in other areas, and it helps knowing that the changes actually mean we'll be spending more time together (though it'll be in rush hour traffic, so the quality of said time may be lacking). I'm very excited about my new job (it's much closer to my scientific background than my current job) and really enjoyed meeting my future coworkers during my interview. Also, Drew really needs more interaction with kids his age and is ready for more structured learning and activities than I can provide while working at home.

That's the update: approaching a big change in lifestyle and looking at the other bits and pieces of my life that I need to adjust to make that change work and still maintain my sanity. If this blog descends into gibberish as the months wear on, you'll know why.

The DDJ Computer Is Dead! Long Live the DDJ Computer!

The Dreaded Day Job-issued laptop was pronounced dead by my IT department at 0814 this morning. Turns out the funny clicking and beeping and buzzing I heard emanating from it yesterday, while it did not affect computer function appreciably at the time, was the harbinger of doom for the relic of a ThinkPad. The harddrive is kaput, the system can't find it anymore.

As was the case with my previous work laptop, I never stored anything on it for either work or writing, so nothing but some scenery pics I had kept forgetting to transfer to an external harddrive were lost. And I can access a decent amout of stuff via the web from our other home computer, so I'm not totally unable to work, more's the pity.

Of course, my bod took care of that by giving me some sort of funky inner ear issue last night that has finally worked its way past the dramamine I took this morning to deal with it. So I'm off to be anyway, grateful that Drew is napping, and that Mark should be home before El Boyo Diablo wakes up.

What a crappy day.

His Business Traveling Days are Over (For Now)

This trip back to CO was likely the last time I bring Andrew with me. Not because he's misbehaved during the trips, far from it. He loves traveling. No, once he turns 2, I have to pay full price for his ticket. The DDJ certainly isn't going to cover it.

This trip then was a nice farewell to our unique joint business trips. Drew flew well both ways. He even took out the safety features card and read along with the safety video (the card has pretty pictures!). He slept well, though not in the crib the hotel provided. He climbed out of the thing his second night there. So I used the base of the crib (really a play pen) as a mat for him to lay on, but he didn't like that for much more than an hour or two. So he shared the king-sized bed with me for the other three nights.

He ate very poorly for me every night, too. But apparently he ate quite well at day care, which is better than nothing.

The last day of the trip, he came with me to the office. He was a big hit as always and helped me out quite well with the few bits of work I had to do.

The highlight of the trip, though, was when we went to the mall for dinner and I let him play in the kiddie area just to the side of the food court. Drew was sitting on the top of a slide, deciding whether or not he really wanted to go down the thing, when some girl behind him got impatient and kicked him. Drew slid down the slides' raised edges on his back before thunking to the ground. I shouted something (I think it was "Oh!") and bolted to him, picked him up and took him back to the table to calm him down. Only he wasn't calming down. He didn't seem hurt at all. In fact, he kept reaching back for the kiddie play area. Sure enough, as soon as I plopped him down in the play area, he stopped crying and went trotting off to play as if he hadn't just sailed five feet through the air and landed on his back.

But it's good to be back and better to know that I don't have to routinely play at being a single mom anymore. We had some fun traveling together for the DDJ, but that solution has outgrown us and its time to find a better day care option for us here in AZ for Drew when I do travel. It should be easier to manage now that the summer is over and day cares aren't flooded with kids who are back in school.

Another Birthday Bites the Dust

Today I turned 29. The day didn't start out so hot as the Drew Monster decided to wake up at 4:30 and Mark was feeling sick so I got Early Morning Boy Duty. Then Drew spent much of the day fussy because his schedule has been all bent out of shape with my travel this week. Then there was the DDJ work I had to do even though it was supposed to be my day off (and I have more work to do tomorrow, and more on Sunday...sigh).

But then I got an email from my high school buddy, Matt. His latest project be here. I've just scratched the surface of the site (it's in beta, so loading and such may be wonky--give it time, it's worth it), but my favorite so far is the "Slept Funny" video. Probably because I just got back from a stint at the DDJ. I also managed to call this illustrious and hilarious fellow for a bit today, and it's always fun catching up with him.

Also, I had managed to forget it was 'Gate Night, so I get fun first-run TV to enjoy after El Boyo Diablo is sleeping. And Mark and I exchanged birthday, half-iversary (we've been together six and a half years today), and Father's Day presents today, so we also have the "Men in Tights" DVD to watch.

And, as if the universe hadn't done enough to turn the day around, my mother stopped by with a couple of beautiful bracelets she made for me mostly out of turquoise. One of them has all these neat fetishes on it. Very cool.

So the day is winding down, and it looks to end vastly better than it began. Thus I start the first day of my last year as a twentysomething.

Yet Another Quick Announcement

I have finally met someone who has bigger right-left directional problems than I do.

Unfortunatley, this person was my airport shuttle driver this morning.

In the category of mixed blessings, said person was also an interstate speed racer.

Thus, I did not miss my flight despite getting on the road forty-five minutes late.

Hugging Drew a Little Tighter

Things came to a head today with Mark's company. He's now one of only seven people left, two of those being basic administrative functions and another two being the folks who, yanno, run the company. That's right, Mark is one of three, count 'em, three scientists left. Granted, the company wasn't too big to begin with, but wow. Mark is also their most recent hire. Suffice to say, they are mighty impressed with his work and skills.

That being said, there are a lot of people who weren't so lucky. And having been there just eight weeks ago, we're feeling the bittersweetness of all of this. Yes, Mark has significant job security, gets a promotion, and a raise. Yes, I can go back to working part-time (but that'll probably take two or three weeks while I wrap up projects I took on to bring me to full-time). But Mark and I can't quite get into a celebratory spirit. The folks that Mark has worked with for the past six months are in tight spots now (including one coworker whose wife will have labor induced tomorrow for their second child; thankfully the company was able to arrange things so they have health care for another seven weeks yet, then I think her employer's bennies are able to kick in). We were not the only young couple with a young kid and a new mortgage at the company.

So we'll breathe a sigh of relief, and I'm cooking a special dinner tonight. But we're also going to hug each other and Andrew a little tighter tonight, a little longer. Our great fortune is tied into the misfortune of others. Not quite the way we envisioned Mark getting job security and his first "real world" promotion and raise.

Full-time Check-in

This week I worked full-time from home. It wasn't a pleasant experience. Hopefully everything will work out with Mark's job by next weekend, and I can go back to my regular part-time schedule. Or, at least, if Mark is again unemployed come next weekend, he'll be home to take care of the Drewbinator while I work. 'Cuz working and managing Drew all by myself for eight hours everyday...let's just say both Drew and I get cranky real fast.

Despite the crankiness, though, I did get a lot of good work done, and Drew could flip a switch from being upset to being run-around-the-house giddy as soon as my work day ended. Clearly this is doable, just not preferable.

As for the writing, I got back into revising this week and really enjoyed myself. Hopefully by next weekend, I'll have done some first draft creation (though not for Shadow of Zehth as I'm still trying to diagnose my problems there). It would really be nice if, by the end of May, I could get myself back on a regular schedule for my writing and get myself back on track with SoZ. That would be very nice. Here's hoping Life stops getting in the way.

Best Friday Ever!

I go home today. Despite the damn snow storm that's predicted for this evening. I was so excited about leaving today that my special treat to myself last night was to pack. I'm not kidding. Now I just have to contain my excitement until 1:30 when I leave to pick up Drew and then head over to the airport. T'ain't gonna be easy.

This week has been very difficult to get through. Early on, I was waiting on pins and needles to find out about the resolution of the matter I blogged about last Friday (see below). Then, I realized just how much more really needs to be done at the DDJ and that I was going to be leaving things dangling and working hard to accomplish them remotely next week. And finally, by yesterday, I was just plain sick of this whole mess and stopped being able to function at times, staring mindlessly at essay after essay on the rise and fall of Battlestar Gallactica.

The good news about this week, though, is that Mark's company got an extension on their project, allowing them the time they needed to optimize the last experiment for the project. And, in a late dose of the serendipity I called for a week ago, they discovered on Wednesday that the reaction they thought wasn't working that triggered them to ask for the extension (which, actually, getting the extension put the entire situation into a much more positive aspect for the company's future)...turns out it actually did work, they just had, basically, an ingredient past its expiration date or from a bad batch that tanked the results. There's still work to be done to make sure they slam dunk this project and leave no doubts to the future of everyone's job security. But things are looking very, very good that we won't have to worry about unemployment next month. Also, the crazy work hours may start to revert to normal, though Mark had to request Saturday off so he could spend it with me and Drew. Still has to work Sunday.

So it seems like our own version of March Madness will pay off quite well for us in the long run (did I mention the DDJ gave me a significant raise this week? and that all of a sudden there's tons of work to bring me back to full-time?). I don't ever want to go through this again, though.

Updated

By the time yesterday hit, it had sunk in as to just how universally stupid I was to volunteer to do this. Got reinforced today when my family's monumental sacrifice during a difficult time was (unintentionally) belittled so that someone else wouldn't feel bad or be held accountable. Got pounded into my brain when I was handed a MEGA EFFIN HUGE project in addition to all the other junk I have to accomplish in two weeks.

I *heart* the DDJ.

I'm taking a nice long vacation next month.

On the plus side, everyone is really doing what they can to be accommodating of my unique situation. I got to indulge myself at my coworker's wife's spa on Saturday while my coworker and his daughter watched Drew. I now have tastefully painted fingernails and shockingly painted toenails, which is how it should be. Also on the plus side, I found a swimsuit that manages to somewhat flatter my post-Drew figure (most of this is accomplished in hiding the nasty stretch marks on my tummy and hips). It's too bad the hotel pool is too cool for Drew's liking; I only bought the damn thing so I could take him swimming while we were here (you should have heard the screams when his little legs touched the water).

Thankfully technology has improved so that I could find the time to quickly enhance my blog with an RSS feed and a subscription service. That's the new-fangled stuff on the sidebar over there. If you want to spare yourself the time of checking my blog for updates (particularly right now when they certainly won't be daily), you can sign up to get an email every time I post. The internet is way cool.

The posts I will be doing will be quick and fun posts. I think I'm going to start a new series of posts called "Rejected Novel Dedications." Tune in tomorrow for the first (or just wait until your email pings you).

To Do: Purchase Straightjacket, Commit Self to Nut House

The name's Sane. In Sane.

What was supposed to be a quick three-day trip to the DDJ to take care of my usual monthly face-to-face meetings turned into something a bit more extended. Sixteen days more extended, to be precise. Before you go railing against my DDJ and telling me what I should tell my company, I will note that I actually suggested the extended stay. See above post title.

Seriously, I have been kicking around the concept of a two-week or longer visit since I realized over the past couple of weeks just how unorganized things have gotten with the day-to-day aspects of the project that I am no longer responsible for as I am remote and part-time. Blame can get passed around to a lot of places for this, including to me. I don't think I trained my replacement in the manner she required, nor did I follow up with her and our manager as extensively as was clearly necessary. Of course, that's all hindsight. (And also couched in careful language.)

Then with all of the chaos regarding Mark's job, I kept coming back to this idea, particularly when we thought he would be at home full-time right about now. So when I got to the DDJ this week and actually saw the extent of the difficulties, I knew I wouldn't be able to help get things back on track in just three days. I also knew that if things continued in the same fashion (and it was clear that my efforts would be needed to prevent that) that all of our jobs would get exponentially more painful in the near future, and I would more than likely have to come back for a longer trip then.

Yes. More Careful Language.

So, since Mark is working insane hours anyway at the moment and it's unclear what our situation will be like in April, I ran my crazy "How 'bout I don't come back 'til the end of the month" idea past Mark. He wasn't thrilled, but, seeing as how we had just weighed similar pros and cons when he was asked to go back to work nearly 24/7, he was willing to make the sacrifice as well.

The good news is that I still have all my connections up here from before our move and can call in favors for home-cooked meals and playdates for Drew on the weekends. The Drewbinator will be hanging out with the daycare provider he was with just prior to our move. We're staying in a suite-like hotel, which means I can write this comfortably on a bed while the Boy sleeps in the sitting area (the two areas are separated by 3/4ths of a wall). This is a vast improvement over hanging out in the bathroom as I've had to do in other hotels during previous trips with the Drew Monster.

The bad news is that, of course, Mark won't see his wife or his son for nearly three weeks, and me and Drew will be living out of suitcases and in cobbled together living situations for three weeks. Not exactly ideal. But things will be vastly improved at the DDJ, we'll have some extra money to work with (I'm full-time while I'm up here), Drew will be able to socialize quite a bit more than he gets to at home (as will I!), and Mark won't have to feel as guilty about working so much.

Here's to hoping April will be smoother for us than the past six months have been. I find myself sometimes wandering through the day, wondering if it's 2008 yet.

Pardon the Shifting Soil. We're in Transition.

It's rather amazing how things can change in the space of fifteen minutes. As my work day wound down, Mark and Drew arrived home from changing the oil. Mark was on his cell phone, and Drew was covered in vomit. I extricated the boy while I overheard Mark saying things that sounded job offer-ish from his nearly-former job. Mark managed to sign off the call as soon as he could (wonder how many times he'll have to say, "I'll call you back shortly, my son just threw up"?) and start cleaning up the car while I cleaned up El Boyo. After the immediate mess was gone, Mark checked his email (the phone call was to mention that there was an email waiting for him), and Drew did his usual huddle close to Momma cuz I'm sick thing.

Turns out there's a project that got an extension and some funding wiggle room to meet an imminent deadline. If the science works out by the deadline, then the funding flows like wine, and Mark's got himself a job again. If it doesn't work out, then we'll have another few weeks of money from his job and even more glowing recommendations for the job hunt. The downside: the deadline is so imminent and the resources so tight that I pretty much won't see Mark for the next two to three weeks. Which means the Drew Monster is coming with me to Colorado next week. Still, a few temporary inconveniences are nothing if it helps Mark land a job in the long run.

As Mark gets on his cell phone to accept the offer, my work cell phone rings. Come to find out that someone's taking an unexpected vacay and spread the word (to one person, and that person was not me) that I would be picking up the slack for her next week. Um, yeah, OK, because they fly me back once a month so I can do other people's jobs. Makes total sense.

As I got off the phone and Mark went back to a more instense cleaning of the carseat, I looked at Drew, knowing this was his cue to barf again. But he didn't. Instead, he pushed himself off of my lap and picked up a toy to play with half-heartedly.

Sigh. Remember Saturday when I said that I wondered where we'd be by this weekend? Didn't expect to get so much answered by Monday.

Stressful Check-in

Who knew that in handling very well the insanity of the lay-off this week that Mark and I would have steam to vent? They should make echo points or neat sound-proofed rooms where you can go for a few minutes and just scream and cuss and bellow invective at the top of your lungs. I think we would have been willing to pay a few bucks for a few minutes of that today.

Mark's last day was actually yesterday. The company arranged to pay for the laid-off employees pay all of next week so they could start the job hunt without having to worry about money for a bit. This is good in that Mark will have a full week of me being here to adjust to the at-home-during-the-day thing. I'll be going back to Colorado for three days the week after.

And, no, I'm not quite able to go back to full-time at the DDJ. There's apparently no other tasks within my department that are suitable for a remote employee. We're begging to other departments now. And, of course, I'm looking for opportunities in the area and have applied to two. I'm a very good match for one and a good match for another. I'm hoping I'll hear back on the first soon.

I've got one story ready to mail out, and should have another one good to go tonight or tomorrow. Early this week, I'll kick them out the door and see what comes from it. By next weekend, I should have another story or two ready for submission, but I don't want to get too much of my stuff out there at once. I might wait to submit anything else until next month. We'll see.

I'm curious to see what the next week brings us. I think, in that sense, I'll be looking forward to the Saturday check-in posts every week.