The Obligatory 2009 Retrospective

For the half-dozen stubborn souls still regularly reading this blog after a very sparse year, I thank you and look forward to a fresh start in 2010.

As for 2009, I have a nice long list of excuses to take me off the hook for writing so little, for taking poor care of my bod, for going long stretches of time not hanging with my family, and for not giving as much of my skills and talents to my writing group in the position I was in this year. Thing is, all those excuses stem from a choice I made rather unwittingly at first but then continued to make without planning much beyond said choice. That choice? My day job became a career. I'm not very upset about that choice. I love what I do during the work week. It's very satisfying and it keeps the anal-retentive perfectionist control-freak side of my personality extremely busy and happily so.

If I could go back to the beginning of 2009, I would still make this choice, but I would be smarter about it. I wouldn't just assume that my life could fall into place around my career choice without effort on my part. I wouldn't assume that choosing something as a career means the career naturally progresses according to my effort and abilities without reference to the careers and attitudes of others around me. I didn't make these assumptions consciously, but I realized I had made them sometime in the fall and didn't take steps to correct them or work around them. That's what my journey since Thanksgiving has been about.

So for 2010, I will not accept exhaustion at the end of the work day or the weekend as an excuse not to write for at least an hour or not to do something active with the family for at least three hours on the weekend. I know my body's limits and a little fatigue is not going to deter me. No more wuss-fest after a long day and week. I think most of the exhaustion I felt was more mental and focused on my logic-slave side anyway than the parts of me I employ writing and being with Drew and Mark. I can compartmentalize better. My body has been in the habit of not falling asleep until 11PM and waking up at 5AM. Rather than toss and turn in bed for an hour or two every night and doze through the last half-hour before the alarm goes off every morning, I'm going to use those times for writing and exercising, respectively.

All of that being said, however, I did submit a short story twice this year, once to a contest, once to an on-line zine. Got rejected and earned the ability to write-off my writing expenses for tax purposes. I did bring in many amazing speakers to my writing group and contributed to another fabulous year for our little volunteer-run chapter of RWA. I also had three writing retreats this year (the first of which was spent sick and huddled under the covers afer about 2K of crap-tastic words; the second was spent playing solitaire after about 2K of pure schlock; and the third produced 3K of great stuff that launched a project I'm using for a revision course that will keep me on a good schedule for the first half of 2010 and should seque right into fixing THUMB for the second half). While it was mostly stress-induced, I also lost 30 pounds this year and am now a size 8 (there's some residual flab that needs toning, and I'd like to maintain this weight without the negativity of severe stress). And we did spend a good deal of time together as a family, also getting Drew in the habit of brushing his teeth every day and practicing writing his letters regularly. And the career is coming along quite well.

So 2009 wasn't a bust though it kind of feels like it. Mostly because I know I can do better.

Just Chillin'

I've been on break since I finished the draft on Thursday. Well, not really. I had to work for over six hours on Friday, which is the day I usually take off. And there's the usual errands and house chores to tend to on any given weekend. But in the writing sphere, I've taken a grand total of thirty minutes to do my outline-after-the-fact of the last two chapters I wrote as well as sketch out the various topics I want to read up on in this downtime along with the potential problem areas that jump out at me. I'm still too close to really get good info for either of those last two points. In mid-August, I'll review my after-the-fact outline and my sketch of how I think the first part should go and kick start my brain. Mostly I just want to get a good overview of this book as a whole so the subconscious can kick some ideas around in the latter part of my break from the book.

But this means I've avoided the computer except to check email. Thus, no blogging. That's something that might hold for August as most of my short fiction work is revising paper copies, not a lot of sitting in front of the computer work.

Besides, it's nice to give myself a break, not be forced to take one becuase my health is in the gutter or default into a break because I'm procrastinating. Plus, gave me a chance to see The Dark Knight with Mark last night. Fantastic movie that I'm really digging on a writing level in addition to it just being a good movie. I'm already starting to pull out neat themes and arcs that tie in nearly flawlessly with the first movie, and I know more's going to click after I see TDK again (which will likely have to wait until the DVD).

In fact, I'm so digging this break concept, that I haven't even started working on the RWA newsletter like I had originally promised myself I would do this weekend. Kind of gave up on that idea this morning and just acknowledged that I needed to give myself some true downtime to just goof off. So I played more Final Fantasy X. Feels good to goof off.

My Deadline, I Have Defeated It

At approximately 106.5 K words, I now declare the first draft of THUMB complete. To say that I am proud of myself is a vast understatement. I wrote 3,191 words tonight to finish this draft. I wrote 16 K over the course of the past two weeks to meet this deadline. I pushed myself through severe joint pain and fatigue, through an arm that liked to go numb, and the more standard laziness and procrastination. I got sick of letting my health rule me, and so I ruled it and am not the worse for the wear, though I am going to sleep very, very well tonight.

As a treat, I'm going to order a full bottle of Namaste from BPAL and have fun with whatever samples they send me. And also the Month of Short Fiction will be a welcome change of writing scenery in which I hope to ready a minimum of three pieces for submission. The problem of THUMB will camp out in my brain somewhere and start picking apart all the tangles and knots and sort through the general mess that is this first draft. I will leave this camp alone and let it do its thing.

It feels very good to have now two complete novels to my name.

Process Examination #23: Lights, Camera....Uh, Where's the Set?

Last week I threw my writing skills against a chapter for what felt like an eternity. Every night I would sit down and tell myself that I would finish the thing. And every night I would shut down the computer after having written another 4 pages that extended the chapter instead of bringing me to the concluding action sequence. It drove me nuts and made me wonder what the heck I wasn't getting right.

At first I thought it was a problem with writing action. This seemed a very plausible theory. Writing action requires a detailed knowledge and understanding of your characters, the story so far, and the setting. Plus, I wanted to get the action as right as possible for this draft because it would be hard to know if a sequence that essentially went "and then this happened, then that, then this other thing..." actually served the story I was writing or just served the purpose of finishing the friggin draft.

So I gave myself a pep rally, reminded the left and right brains that I can write crap, and plunked myself down Sunday afternoon, determined to finish a chapter that was already long at over 4K. And I discovered that as soon as my MC described the room she was in, the rest of the chapter flowed very very well. Turns out visualizing the surroundings was holding me back. Wrote 2K in two hours to round out the chapter at a shocking 6.5K. Yeah, probably will need to break that into two chapters in revisions, assuming it stays in the book in any recognizable form.

To further prove the point, yesterday my vague outlines for the next chapter featuring the MC crystallized once I sketched out the area of the antagonist's ship in which it occurred. Now the only thing holding me back is plot and backstory details, knowing what three characters were doing before the MC busts into the room with a goon hot on her trail. I know essentially how I want those three characters to interact once my MC is in the room, but I want to know what they have to transition from to get there. That will certainly make it easier to start writing this next chapter.

By the way, I have only the denouement to write after this chapter, and that's already well sketched. I'm thinking I'll definitely meet my July 31st deadline. Go me.

Process Examination #22: PLOT!

I am looking at anywhere from two to four chapters remaining in THUMB. My current word count is at about 93K. I could conceivably finish this draft this week, and by the end of the month looks imminently doable. Part of my brain is already trying to map out the bumps and scrapes that need to be smoothed and schelacked; the other part is hamster-wheeling these last few chapters to wring out as much plot as possible to tie it all up into a complete draft.

The vague ideas and hazy outlines of these chapters will no longer suffice. I have to get down to the details and step through a viable course that carries the characters to a resolution that I might have even set up in a chapter or two way back at the beginning. I'm tugging at all sorts of half-remembered threads from Act 1, retconning shamelessly some events in all previous acts, referring to things that I know will easily fit into previous chapters but aren't there as yet. Every trick I can muster to make the plot two-step its way to The End.

There is no discovering what happens as I write at the moment. No, now I'm discovering what happens as I notebook and block the scenes. The characters have had their chance to surprise me. Now they must submit. For the most part, they're cooperating. As I've said before, this process for me is all about finding a common language between the right and left brains to tell a story. The characters have been a part of that, they know that there's a lot of work to be done and that just finishing the simple "who does what next and how" quickly will get everybody fully on the same page so the real heart and soul of the story can get hashed out.

(As a very interesting aside, my brain kicked out the notion that this story isn't the flogging of family matters that I thought--or, at least, that's only the most obvious thing going on and may not be the most significant. Last night my brain started going off about the Singularity and how I think it's not going to create a world unfathomable to us. Rather, the Singularity is going to get absorbed the same way all technological advances have been and humanity will chug right along in much the same way, just with neat-o tools and tech because today's laws and economies aren't equipped to deal with humanity evolving past our current boundaries, even if the tech might one day exist to do so. Or something like that. Could be just a lazy way around explaining why my story can have tech that allows for cloning and consciousness transfer, but is just Big Business in Space. That's what the Month of Short Fiction is for, to let wacky ideas like that stew and fester and, you know, develop into something I can actually type coherently and with a straight face.)

It's actually rather nice to be able to look at various methods of accomplishing what needs to be accomplished for each scene in the notebook stage and having all the info at my fingertips to compare and contrast those methods. I think it's something that, for me, I can only accomplish after achieving familiarity with the story in the course of the draft. To do so before writing any words feels arbitrary to my process.

Still, I am taking notes on how I'm outlining these last few scenes, how I'm notebooking the various ways everything can shake down. It's very possible that I'll figure out a way to do more advance planning earlier in the draft game by paying attention to what I'm doing now.

Post-a-Rejection Friday

There was an internet skirmish involving someone posting a rejection to the 'net that got picked up for widespread outcry because it contained some objectionable language. This led to the author of said rejection letter complaining about the posting of said letter as poor nettiquette. Most of the SFnal writerly internet quarter took objection to this as the core of the substantive response to the outcry and made an effort to start a theme a la International Pixel-stained Technopeasant Wretch Day.

So, for purposes of solidarity, I post the sole rejection with feedback I have garnered. From Nick Mamatas of Clarkesworld:

Thanks for the story, but not for me. There was a lot of "top of mind" stuff in the early going: what would a politician watching tv drink except for Scotch? What would an engagement entail except for a huge diamond ring that had been passed down for generations? How could we not make out in an ol' Mustang? Where might one buy a bra but Victoria's Secret? As such, these characters don't live as anything other than cardboard cut-outs. Characters need to be individuated by their consumption patterns, their interests, their personalities. These figures are far too generic, and all the signifiers are generic as well.

Yeah, ouch, but not horribly so, not gratuitously so, and no evidence of a ethnic slur in sight. Plus, it got me thinking about the story and why I had used those signifiers. It's taken me about a year, but I finally figured out why I had that story set up the way I did. I hope I have the chops to pull off the revision (next month, after I finish THUMB) because it's a pretty fun thing I'm trying to do.

4 Things on a Sunday's Eve

Felt like mixing things up instead of posting a routine progress summary (and I have nothing coherent to say for more than a few sentences at a gulp). Here's the odd smattering of thoughts as this week winds to a close.

1. Wrote 1,141 very painful words today, but at least I'm over the block of starting this big turning point chapter. My total word count is 86,865 (43,865). Chugging right along, no matter how much it hurts.

2. Found the squick in Carter's Sade essays. A quick bit of information that any parent of small children likely understands: most reading of shorter things like magazines and short stories is probably going to be happening whilst the parental unit is sitting in the dubious privacy of the bathroom, making use of the facilities. Thus, a discussion of how Sade's characters indulge in coprophagy is even more uncomfortable than it would be outside of said room. (For those of you not familiar with the term or rusty in your Latin, beware before wandering off to Google. The information you get could very well be NSFW.)

3. Found in the latest issue of Discover: evidence of the government's very twisted sense of humor. In the 50s, unwitting patrons of a particular west coast brothel were subjected to a secret governmental experiment involving LSD. The code name of this experiment? Midnight Climax.

4. And one last writing tidbit, I guess. I wrote a funny that probably won't make it to the final draft as it's tone is clearly grounded in this cultural moment and sounds out of place in a cultural moment 90+ years in the future: Barrett's charm could only be described as an acquired taste, but she found his current attitude on target for stupid awards the likes of which she'd never consider Barrett eligible. Hmm. Sorry if that was one of those "you had to be there" things.

Progress: It's Bad, But It's a Chapter

Man, the draft is getting way rough in the end here. But it's still progress and I'm now well under 20K left to write. Definitely doable in this fine month of July. I'm rather bummed about it, but I had to push my deadline back to the end of July. I had hoped to make this month the Month of Short Fiction, but it looks like August is going to have to have that title. Oh well.

Deadline: July 31, 2008
Today's Words: 1,437
Total words: 83,917 (40,917) I think, anyway...forgot to write that down and the program is closed, too lazy to boot it back up

Musical stylings: Ion
Munchies: The remainder of my egg salad from lunch with crackers.

Mean Things: Cryptic messages from the MC's best friend; forcing said BFF to sit ship with her love interest to serve as bait (don't worry, they'll get over it in a hurry, but that's next chapter)
Placeholder of the day: Not quite a placeholder, but the chapter is really a lot of exposition of the "hey, let's all sit around and discuss the badguys next move and how we think we can avoid it" variety. Just talking heads. Will need to address this in revisions.

Amusing Tidbit from Kellie's Day: Drew is real keen on this concept of "fireworks." Little guy can even say the word very very well. He just doesn't quite get that he has to wait for the sun to go down.

Physical therapy contortions: I got The Lecture last week because I'm not doing my stretches and exercises at home. I'm trying to find a good time to do this that doesn't take away too much of my writing time, but it's hard, mostly because the best time is right before bed after I've done my writing, but that's usually when my body is protesting the most, thus making the idea of further straining the poor thing unwelcome. But things are actually getting worse than they were, so I obviously need to make an adjustment somewhere. Silly goofy joints.

Progress: I Has Some

Managed to squeeze 844 words out of me today on the new DDJ computer. It arrived yesterday, and I spent last night getting everything set according to my wants and needs. There's a couple of bugs trying to get worked out still, but it works and it's quicker than the last one. All signs point to better days in computer land.

I also managed some progress last week that I never posted, so my total word count is 81,957 for THUMB. This thing is nearly a finished draft. Go me. Oh, but the computer snarl set back my deadline again. Rather than run myself too ragged, I decided to hell with it and shoved the deadline back to July 31. I can do this. I WILL do this.

But now I must sleep.

Process Examination #21: The Home Stretch

I mentioned that, a few weeks ago, the last handful of chapters in THUMB popped out of my brain in a very vague outline. I was all set two weeks ago when I took time off from work to start the crazy dash to the finish line. And I did manage a good 5K words or more those few days. Then I seemed to lose a bit of steam. I think I've figured out my silly brain again.

Given that my first draft is all about finding a common language for my left and right brains on a particular story, it's unsurprising that the two halves of me will be in synch a bit more somewhere in the third act of the story (I use a four-act structure). That's about at 70K of story, and it makes sense that enough groundwork has been laid down in the draft that the left brain can finally understand a bit better the crazy talk my right brain is using to explain the story. The left-brain/right-brain dictionary (i.e. the first draft) is nearly done.

This is bliss for the left brain. At last, efficiency can take the lead and we can quickly finish the silly draft and start fixing the bloody thing to sell it and publish it and move that career forward, dammit.

The right brain is not as enthused. Afterall, the left brain is jumping ahead of her a bit. Sure, that control freak is getting it mostly the way she sees it, but she's not discovering the story any more and sharing it. And she can't start going through the rest of the draft to find threads that need polishing until the draft is finished because there's a chance something's still lurking there to surprise her, or that a particular way an event in the vague outline is set down will influence the best way to fix something earlier. In essence, the poor thing's bored.

Yes, my brain is so lovely. In the early part of writing a novel, the left brain is hyperfrustrated to the point that progress is often derailed to go back and make the opening "just right" or to stall a scene while researching precisely how ionic propulsion works or to grind forward momentum to a halt by asking logic questions regarding plot point feasibility and such. Meanwhile, the right brain keeps dragging the story along as best she can, working fast to deflect the left brain's issues and keep him engaged. In the later part of writing a novel, the right brain starts to lose interest while the left brain charges ahead with only the goal of "The End" driving him, not caring that he's leaving the creative half behind as he goes.

Just lovely.

(Brief aside: I wonder how much of my ruminations on my process are driven by being a Gemini. I've always tended to think of my self in terms of duality, just seems natural. Taking it to this extreme is a bit new, but still feels normal and not in any way crazy. Wonder what others less comfortable with Gemini's twin-nature think about this.)

The way to combat the early novel left-brain/right-brain combat was to convince the left-brain that the right-brain's way was more efficient in the long-run. To deal with the late novel battle phenomenon, I think I need to convince the right-brain that the left-brain is looking at the story from a completely different perspective that will probably surprise her (or at least entertain in its simplicity and/or ridiculousness). If she's waiting to see what the left-brain will do next with the story as vaguely outlined, she might be more willing to contribute her part to finishing the silly book.

I'm really looking forward to putting my revision process in terms of this left-brain/right-brain conflict. Now that they have a common language to use in discussing this story, nothing else can possibly go wrong, right? Heehee.

Wash of a Weekend

Friday: No writing due to date night with hubby. Writing time was sacrificed very willingly. Dinner (at Roy's in Chandler) was fabulous. My mango mojito divine. My outifit killer (shoes included; I've never been so excited to wear a pair of shoes, especially because I paid less than $30 for them).

Saturday: Drove down to Tucson to attend memorial service for a writing friend, the woman who resurrected the Tucson RWA chapter and is primarily responsible for the awesome writing community I found there. Writing time afterwards was sacrificed to go swimming with family and run what should have been a quick errand while Drewbie and Mark continued to swim. Said quick errand stretched from fifteen minutes to an hour and fifteen, and I was stuck at a grocery store with nothing to do. So I browsed the book section, intending to just see what was there and grab a magazine to while away the time. Found the latest of JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood novels, and that auto-buy reflex could not be stopped. Nor could the auto-read and auto-finish reflexes. Stayed up until 4AM to finish book.

Sunday: Writing time was sacrificed for sleep. Brain is not quite coherent, but I will take it out for a test run on THUMB as soon as the Drew Monster is out. My hopes are not very big. Am rethinking my July 7 deadline because time management and free-time discipline are skills of my past, apparently.

The Days, They Are So Long

Ugh. Barely managed to bleed 238 words out of myself tonight. I have either been wiped out physically or out of sorts mentally this entire week by the time evening comes around. Tuesday I so needed a break from being a functioning member of my family that I booked out shortly after Mark came home to grab dinner and a showing of Iron Man (pretty good flick, but not so good in this viewer's opinion so as to warrant all the geeky fuss I've seen about it). Last night I stared blankly at the computer for a half hour before I realized I needed to get to bed. And tonight, I figured out another chunk of this scene, but then my brain said, "Stop. Full stop."

Gah. On the plus side, the last few chapters are fleshing out in my mind more and more to the point where the writing of them should be fast. I'm figuring out another level of my process here, so expect a post on that soon. And I've got a couple of other posts knocking around in my head that should be more entertaining than my usual fare. So watch this space!

Quick Update

I managed to write 1,074 words today during my usual work hours. I won't get anymore done tonight as we have to clean the house a bit and pack up for going camping until Sunday afternoon. Of course, the words I wrote today finished half of a new chapter I realized I needed to add, so I still need to write 7.5 chapters to get to the end of the draft. July 7 is still very feasible to finish, though.

We're heading out to Canyon de Chelly tomorrow morning, with various stops along the way. The weather's a tad cooler up there, so we'll come back refreshed and ready for another round of 100+ heat.

Progress: Green, Growing Things

I decided to push my deadline back to give me Independence Day weekend for more writing. I think it's do-able, though my progress yesterday (0) and today (not too shabby) aren't exactly inspiring me. We're going camping Thursday through Sunday, so I took off work this week to give me time to write when I'd usually log my hours. Not happening so much. I actually had to work anyway yesterday, and one last battle with the RWA newsletter occupied most of my morning today. Sigh.

Deadline: July 7, 2008
Today's Words: 1,214
Total words: 77,717 (34,717)

Musical stylings: Aes Dana
Munchies: Mmmmm...chocolate

Mean Things: Lost in thought in hydroponics; Dude, the computer knows what's up with your will and you don't
Placeholder of the day: I did a hand-wavey "we've been underway for several days" bit that, while OK for a character's inner dialog, was used solely because I had lost all sense of the timeline

Amusing Tidbit from Kellie's Day: Drew loves to sneak in some nekkid time after he emerges from my mother's pool and we strip off his Li'l Swimmers in preparation for dressing him. It's especially cute because Dakota, my brother's Belgian Malinois (sp?), thinks this is the perfect opportunity to do a little butt sniffing. Drew doesn't find the experience very pleasant.

Physical therapy contortions: Hip is throbbing, wrist is hurting to the point where I can't really sign my name so well anymore. I may need to rethink my computer ergonomics and PT stretches a wee bit.

Progress: Finally, A Crazy Action Scene

Deadline: June 30, 2008??
Today's words: 2,592
Total words: 76,503 (33,503)

Musical stylings: Aes Dana and Collide
Munchies: Cranberries and chipotle-lime cashews

Researched via Quickie Wiki or the Google Boogie: I used my internets for good, old-fashioned procrastinating today
Mean Things: Lying computers, arguing with a stranger in front of friends, leading friends to believe you're about to commit suicide when you'll do no such thing
Placeholder of the day: Pretty much all of the last 1000 words is based on information that I realized 500 words in that I hadn't yet introduced, so I'm going to have to retcon that; not really a placeholder, but in that same vein

Physical therapy contortions: My right wrist has been in agony all day despite the bundling, and now my left hip is screaming. I migth forego the contortions today.

Progress: Good Couple of Days

I've missed posting the last bit of my progress a couple of weeks ago, so you'll just have to take my word for it that my wordcount below is accurate. I got a lot done last night and this afternoon, but my energy petered out after dinner, so I didn't get to finish the chapter I started today as I had hoped to do. I'm sure I'll be able to do so tomorrow, assuming my wrists take the night to ease up on their claims of aggrieved status. I'm going to need to buy another wrap and bundle 'em both up until this bout of joint whininess passes.

Deadline: June 30, 2008??
Today's Words: 2,028 today (1,298 yesterday)
Total words: 73,911 (30,911)

Musical stylings: Aes Dana, Cult of the Hidden Nerve, The Nature of Light, and Atlas Plus
Munchies: A square of a yummy "exotic" chocolate bar

Researched via Quickie Wiki or the Google Boogie: Pound to Kilo conversion, but I didn't use it
Mean Things: Forcing the love/hate issue, solar flare emergency
Placeholder of the day: "But we're all safe, surrounded by [X tons?] of water,"

Physical therapy contortions: I'll work on those while I watch Transformers.

Getting Back on the Ball

OK, so the past two weeks have really been kicking my butt, particularly where the little details are concerned. Nothing major, although it did culminate yesterday at the Book Warehouse with Drew locking the car doors and me forgetting about it until he was snug in his seat with the AC on and Ratatouille playing. This time, I called my mom (thankfully she's listed in the phone book as sill cell phone speed dial renders my memory blank on her number), and waited for the calvary to arrive. It would've arrived faster but, while I did get the spares made, I hadn't yet given her one, so she had to trek to my house and then get to us--at least 15 minutes of back-tracking involved.

Sigh. Might as well call this blog "The Epic Failure of Kellie Hazell" some days.

The RWA newsletter is as done as I can get it at the moment, so I'm going to block it from my mind until Sunday evening so as to devote myself entirely to my writing until then. The computer gadgetry improvements are complete, though I've got a software issue that is leaving me in a bit of a Catch-22 due to DRM shit in a product I own (and am trying to reinstall on my replacement computer a second time only to find out that my serial number is no longer good--it's only the third download and all for one user) and same company charging $20 for tech support calls. I'm inclined to let that problem molder for a while longer yet.

But, as I said, it's all little stuff. Just a decent amount of it hitting at once to make me feel like I can't get on top of it and start riding the wave instead of getting pushed around by it. That changes this weekend. I shall emerge victorious! Or, at least, better equipped to deal with the small stuff without sweating it. It's funny: it's really all my fault as I really mismanaged my time last week and weekend. Had I not procrastinated and played last week, I wouldn't be floundering right now. Life always knows just when to mess with you.

I'm hoping that getting back into the swing of THUMB tonight will help me figure out if it's even remotely possible to still meet my June 30 deadline for a draft. I hope so, but the lure of the three-day Independence Day weekend not too far after June 30 is tempting for a slight pushback on the deadline. We'll see.

Where Does the Time Go?

Life got nuts after my glorious Saturday. Budgets were mutilated and created anew. DDJ projects were ignored and conquered. Time was wasted and multi-managed. Parts of the house were cleaned and allowed to wallow in filth. Movies were praised and disparaged (the nuclear blast sequence in Indiana Jones was one of the most visceral images of warfare I've seen in a long while but, when pressed, I realized that the movie itself wasn't about plot, character, or action so much as it seemed to be an amalgam of all three that at least entertained more than it didn't). The Boy progressed and regressed (several new words have been added to the vocab, but he seems to be exploring the joys of frequent poopy diapers again). And...I've run out of "best of times, worst of times" ways to explain my hiatus from blogging.

I haven't written since Friday night, though the outlining and general focus on writing on Saturday makes me OK giving that missed day a pass. It's not that I'm blocked as the outline demonstrates. It's just that life got in the way. On the plus side, the reason I didn't write tonight is that I was busy tinkering with my various files and external harddrives and computer configurations to boost storage and music availability. I'm starting to get twitchy about not having written more this past three-day weekend, though, as I look at the looming deadline for my RWA chapter's June newsletter. So much for writing during Drew's naps this weekend. That's OK, though, as I would have used that time to revise PPR, but I'm not yet sure of how I want to proceed with the revisions. So the longer break from that project should serve me well. As for THUMB, I'm finishing the one chapter that's been dangling for a bit tomorrow night, come hell or high water.

V. Good Day

6:22 Wake to The Boy handing me my blanket by shoving it in my face. First coherent thought: Nice of him to let us all sleep in this late.

7:30 Eat delicious bacon, egg & cheese bagel prepared by husband while I showered and dressed.

8:00 Grab a tall mint mocha chip frappucino just off the interstate. Keep the cool air flowing in and shiver a little in the dark gray 60 degree weather, but it feels like heaven.

8:55 Gas up in Tucson, Home of the Cheapest Gas in the US. Get ten extra cents off the gallon because of our grocery loyalty program thing. Feel ecstatic to be getting $3.49/gal. Beginning to think I rock.

9:10 Arrive at RWA meeting venue. Next to nobody there yet. Help get everything set up for the day.

10:35 Listen to excellent presentation on revising from a chapter member who writes in a similar "First Draft from Hell" organic fashion. Look forward to implementing some strategies while revising PPR in the near future.

11:07 Am crowned Queen of BIAW, our monthly program to boost output by reporting daily page counts to particpating members. Do the elbow-elbow-wrist-wrist wave and someone catches it on camera.

12:53 Listen to another excellent presentation by the 2008 Nora Roberts Lifetime Achievement Award winner Vicki Lewis Thompson (who is also a member of our chapter) on Dwight Swain's motivation-reaction unit. Am unsure of its appropriateness for drafting my novels, but think of using it to pick apart turning point scenes and such in upcoming revision of PPR.

2:00 Wander over to B&N with a few others for Gabfest. And gab. Feel human again in presence of like-minded adults. Revel.

3:45 Still gabbing.

5:45 Get call from Mark, not to hurry me home but to make sure I'm OK as he had expected to hear from me. Am stunned to learn of the time. Ask if it's OK to hang around for a few more hours yet. Mark proves he is Best Husband Eva by saying, "Have fun." Gab fest continues.

6:45 Move Gabfest to Macaroni Grill for dinner and more gabbing.

8:30 Part ways from fellow gabbers and begin The Voyage Home.

9:03 While driving again with cool desert-in-the-rain breeze blowing and listening to Aes Dana: Aftermath, figure out how the last eight chapters of THUMB will go in terms of who will be the POV char and what the overall story element will be for each. Am vague on details, but feel amazingly organized and ready to tear through Acts 3 & 4 to meet my June 30 deadline.

10:08 Arrive home and give Best Husband Eva a v. nice kiss before running back to writing room to jot down the v. vague outline of last eight chapters. Also blog.

Progress: What a Day

I knew the day was going to be different when I woke up at 5AM for the usual potty break and quick snack before the alarm goes off and found my son snoozing on a pile of blankets on the automan in the living room. He crawled back into bed with me for about 15 minutes, then wandered back to his room (refusing to let me escort him) to doze until closer to 6:30. My son, he is odd. Gets it from his father. See the amusing tidbit, though, for the other oddness of the day (regrettably, I can't foist this one off on Daddy).

Deadline: June 30, 2008
Today's Words: 970
Total words: 67,311 (24,311)
Musical stylings: More ambient stuff
Munchies: More cheddar rice cakes

Mean Things: Threatening to bring in the lawyers, more pompous patronizing BS, lashing out at friends because you can't thrash the one who deserves it
Placeholder of the day: More vague words about policy this and SOP that

Amusing Tidbit from Kellie's Day: I neglected to blog about this, but several weeks ago, I managed to lock Drew in the car in the Safeway parking lot in the 80 sunshine. I had tossed the keys into the diaper bag after shutting off the car and, on my way to get Drewbie out, I hit the powerlock on the driver door in what I can only explain was a brief flashback to the days when I drove around by myself and would lock the car on my way out the door. I flagged someone down to call the cops so they could either open the door themselves or dispatch a locksmith posthaste. I managed to keep my cool, and Drew seemed to be having a blast despite the car getting up into the high 90s (he kept saying "stuck!" over and over and laughing). Being surrounded by people willing to help and then the cops understanding the situation helped immensely. It was quick work getting the door open and, of course, once Drew was unbuckled, he wanted to run around and play inside the car for a bit as if the whole ordeal had been fun of the first order. I hugged him and laughed the thing off as best I could, making big plans to get spare keys made and so on.

Then today, it happened again, only in much less worrisome circumstances. And, of course, both Drew and I handled it worse. This time, though, it really was Drew's fault. We were getting into the car to go to my mom's for some swimming. Drew decided it would be fun to play in the car. He even got the keys in the ignition and started the car with a little help from me. AC on, music playing, I kept the door by his car seat open as he flicked the power locks on and off and pretended to drive. Eventually I got him into his seat and buckled in. I shut the door and went to the driver's side, only to find the door locked. And that's when it hit me: he had last power locked the doors before I corralled him, and now the car was sealed up tight with the diaper bag (read: my phone, and we only have cell phones, no LAN lines).

Feeling like ten times an idiot, I trotted across the street to get help, and had a grand ol' self-effacing time explaining what had happened, and that, silly me, six years of higher education never come in handy when you need it most, and you can only fight the blonde so much before it wins and so on. They lent me a phone and I called the same locksmith who got me out of this mess the first time.

Then the monster dust storm hit. Drew was fine, of course, sealed up in the car. With the car running, however, I had to keep the garage door open and deal with sand and grit blasting me. I would've ducked into the house, only Drew was very upset at being stuck in his car seat and listening to Tori Amos instead of watching Finding Nemo.

Well, suffice to say that, first thing tomorrow morning (well, not quite; running the car for a half hour without going anywhere and cranking the AC used up more gas than I had thought), Drew and I will wander to said locksmith and make several spares of this damn car key: one for the house, one for my mother, one for Daddy. This WILL NOT happen again. It's one thing to feel inadequate as a parent because of my own insecurities and issues with perfectionism. It's quite another to have evidence shoved under your nose twice in two months.

Physical therapy contortions: Still to come.