New Vocabulary

Via Joel, the NEW WORDS FOR 2004: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary. (I've kept only the ones I liked or could add something to.)

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. (See this thread for some fantastic, writerly tongue-in-cheek sucking up.)

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. (Hmm, you think last Friday qualifies as a Salmon Day?)

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (I'll be leaving the cube farm on March 31. I wonder if my next job will have the same opportunities for prairie dogging?)

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one'sworkplace copy machine. (I wouldn't know anything about this word.)

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example. (Another good example: OJ Simpson Trial.)

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. (I hope this one worms its way into often-used slang. It's neato.)

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions. (Another good example: The Midwest.)

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (I've experienced this due to an unfortunate goof with instant messaging. Note to self: do NOT send the venting message to your boss - the object of your vent - when you mean to send it to your pal.)