Wasting Time

I watched the Oscars instead of writing. I told myself that I was stuck in my HD revisions, but I could've worked past it. I told myself I wanted to see a fantasy movie sweep a ton of awards, but I could've read about it and been just as happy. Last night, I lounged in bed watching The Simpsons instead of writing. I told myself I was too tired (I wasn't able to fall asleep until 1AM after the Oscars) and needed the rest. Besides, I was stuck in both my projects, right? Another night of letting the subconscience mull things over couldn't hurt. And one night doesn't hurt. But it'll turn into a week if I let it. This is why I really want to get out of my current job. It's hard to motivate yourself and stay motivated when you're bored out of your skull for fourty hours every week.

And then my current reading list isn't helping either. I'm not able to face my faith and the anger it brings to read Breaking Faith. I'm not patient enough nor nautically-minded enough to slog through Master and Commander. And I'm sure as hell not enjoying Without Remorse. I will finish that book - I made a deal with Mark. But now is not the time to hold my reading enjoyment captive. So tonight I will pick up a couple books I'm interested in and see if that helps my motivation. I usually get really motivated when I read a good book. Some writers get depressed and think, "I'll never be able to do that." I, almost always, get excited and eager to write my own stories and see if I can improve my skills.

And meanwhile, I'm going to put a placeholder scene in The Masque and keep moving forward with the stuff I don't need to research, and I'll push past the weird second-guessing of the science I've already laid down in Human Dignity and keep pushing forward there. I was miserable last week, waiting for the agent response and any word on the job front. I'm not going to let that happen this week.