Back To Writing

Well, that's the hope for this weekend, at any rate. Human Dignity stalled out last week. And in two scenes, too. I'll probably push my way past the blocks this weekend. The Masque is stalled out right now too, but that's something that's going to take more work to fix. I need to do a bit more research about spaceflight and low-g biology so I can better write the next scene. So research, research, research. I'm finding some really cool stuff on the Internet. And learning a lot too. I'm frustrated that this field is so new, though. It's not like I can sign up for a course or pick up a textbook. We're really not at that stage. There are some programs that are pretty close, but nothing feasible for me. But it's also a neat thing to be out there on my own, culling all this info and trying to apply my knowledge to it. So this weekend I'll either be making more progress on my HD revisions or my Masque research.

Oh, yeah. One more thing I'll be doing this weekend. It involves this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARK!!!

Gutwrenching Numbers

This just in from CNN:

The Boston Archdiocese said Thursday that 162 of its priests have been accused of molesting 815 minors since 1950. Sexual abuse allegations against just seven of those priests accounted for "slightly more than half" of the alleged victims, it said.

Those are the first two lines of the article, and I just can't get beyond them. Now I'm going to go home and pretend that the world doesn't exist for a while. Playstation 2 and Textbook Denial, here I come!

Music Linkage

I can't remember if I blogged about this before. So if you're reading this for a second time, my apologies. People often associated certain sensory inputs with certain experiences. Perhaps the smell of grapefruits reminds you of Easter breakfasts at your grandparents. Or the feel of grass on your feet brings back summer visits to a friend's house. For me, music is a big association gold mine. I hear just a bit of a song and remember emotions, trips, conversations, life situations, etc. Here's just a sampling.

Enya: Enya's got some great music. I find it incredibly soothing. Unfortunately, the two times I needed a lot of soothing, I listened to Enya non-stop. And now whenever I hear her music, I think of those two things in my life. I used to listen to her Shepherd Moons album while I studied organic chemistry my sophomore year of college. I can't hear that album without thinking about where electrons would flow in predicting the chemistry of a reaction. Or about analyzing NMR spectroscopy readouts. When I was teaching high school, I needed Mega Doses of comfort on my drive to work each morning. I listened to A Day Without Rain during every drive. I can't hear any song on that album without choking on all the panic and doubt and nervousness I experienced with that job. I was caught quite off guard when one of the songs came over the loudspeakers while shopping at PetSmart. Damned if I didn't tear up.

A-Ha: I mentioned before that I listened to "Take on Me" and "The Sun Always Shines on TV" while waiting to cross over the border into East Germany in 1988. Those two songs remind me of the yellow, gray, and brown tones that pervaded the former East Germany, as well as the tension of being in that country, as well as the pining for a very cute guard.

Portishead: Their album Dummy has a very sexy, jazzy, unique sound. My high school buddy Matt played it for the gang after prom but before the bowling extravaganza (I think that's what we did after prom). I never bought this album, it was given to me. It was a gift from the guy who gave me my Last Piggy-back Ride Ever. See, Matt and I had this joke about piggy-back rides ever since he offered to give me one at a picnic and I hopped on his back before he was ready, causing us both to fall and Matt to hurt his back. So everytime we encountered an exceptional unpleasant surface, I would joke about having Matt give me a piggy-back ride. Ha-ha, had to be there kind of inside joke. Well, I made the requisite joke to Matt while he, our friend Gary, and I were walking to a party. The road was rather gravely and icky, so I decided that was my cue to tease Matt about giving me a piggy-back ride. Matt and I both laughed, but Gary wasn't in on the joke and thought I really wanted a piggy-back ride. He offered to give me one. I tried to beg off, but he insisted. And shortly thereafter, we crashland into the nasty road. Gary, sweet guy that he is, tried to protect my knees in the fall and his face took the burden.

It's hard to forget showing up at a party with someone unrecognizable due to the amount of blood on his face and ask to use the bathroom.

We had to take him to the hospital. My Last Piggy-back Ride Ever left a scar on Gary's face so apparent that it became a "distinguishing feature" on his Air Force record in the event someone had to ID his body without benefit of dogtags or some other form of recognition. I hope this is not the only way in which I leave my mark on this world. Anyway, what does this have to do with Portishead? Gary, a couple months after The Incident, decided he didn't want his CD any more and gave it to me. It's a great CD, and I've formed a great many more memories listening to it since then, but it's got this strange black cloud hanging over it everytime I see it in my collection and pull it out to play it.

Elton John: I recorded the song "The One" off the radio way back in the early 90s and played it incessantly one summer when we took a little trip to the North Sea. I hear that song and think of cold water and naked sunbathers. And this really weird peanut sauce we had at the Holiday Inn we stayed at. I also worked first aid for a concert he did at Notre Dame in 1999. I was at a station with my roomie (and First Aid Team pres) Nikki that was just twenty feet or so away from the stage. I spent most of the night watching Elton drink Diet Coke and spit into the little Champange chilling stand his drinks sat in. But at one point early in the concert, we had a first aid emergency near our station that required us to run behind Elton's stage to assist somebody. My foot was inches away from accidentally unplugging the show. So just about every other Elton John song besides "The One" reminds me of the look on the sound guy's face as Nikki and I hopped around backstage to get to the emergency. Poor man.

Hootie & the Blowfish: My very first concert was this band at some outdoor pavilion in Wisconsin in 1996. I will always associated Hoote & the Blowfish with getting drenched at their concert and having the sound short out when lightning stuck the pavilion at the beginning of "Hannah Jane", my favorite song of theirs. I will also remember my six-year-old cousin singing "Ti-i-ime, why you punish me" before we left for the concert.

Dexy's Midnight Runners: "Come on Eileen" at every single college dance I went to. 'Nuff said.

Sting: "A Thousand Years" from his Brand New Day album will forever bring up memories of Melanie Rawn's Dragon Prince. I bought that book and that CD on the same day, went home and listened to the CD - which has a very desert, middle-eastern feel - and read the book - which takes place much of the time in a desert. It was a wonderful blend. Made for a great reading and listening experience.

Fleetwood Mac: Their Greatest Hits album always calls to mind summer and drives in the sun with the windows down. It feels weird listening to that album in any other situation.

U2: The song "Electrical Storm" as played on their Greatest Hits 90-00 CD inspired a scene in Strings of Betrayal. It's impossible for me to hear that song without seeing that scene play out in my head.

And last (for now), but certainly not least...

Natalie Cole & Nat King Cole: "Unforgettable" was the first dance Mark and I shared as a married couple. I can't hear that song and not remember trying to teach Mark to dance in the weeks before our wedding, dealing with the church's Wedding Nazi, watching a bowl of soup dump into PJ's pocket at the rehearsal dinner, getting Matt's "Scent of a Woman" drawing in Pictionary in the big shindig we had the night before the wedding, finding out my brother's plane had landed just three hours before the wedding, reaching for Mark's right hand instead of his left when we exchanged rings, having everyone hold down my veil in the pictures we took outside in the wind, having to make three "oops, we forgot something" trips back to the apartment both before the reception and before we left for our honeymoon, having all the men at the reception at the DJ's direction sing "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" to me on their knees, trying three times to get a cosmopolitan from the bar and only succeeding on the third try and holding my "victory drink" as I danced with my brother, and watching a meteorite streak across the sky framed by the window next to our table at dinner during our honeymoon in the Southwest.

Complex Copyright Infringement

OK, here's hoping that I never have to deal with anything this complicated (not to mention just plain ugly) when I get published.

Have an Antacid

All that political stomach churning can be relieved by reading the following article.

Not That He Had It Before...

...but Bush just lost my vote. Time to brush up on the Prohibition as well as the Civil Rights movement. We've got lots of ammunition against this. And there goes my stomach again.

Bleh

Still not feeling well. Left work a little early yesterday so I could go back home and huddle under the covers. I'm beginning to think that there's nothing really wrong with me, that I'm just reacting to the horrendous amount of political jibberish pervading everything. I was actually pretty excited about Dean because he seemed to have quite a few moments of humanity, which set him above the usual politicians. I didn't agree with him 100%, I didn't know if he'd be a good president, but I was sure willing to hear more from him. And now it seems like it'll be Bush v Kerry. Politician v politician - no humanity in sight. Rhetoric and bile v rhetoric and bile - no honest assessment of the state of our country and how it could be better. Conservative v liberal(-ish) - and that debate sounds like different arguments dressed up in the same language and debate tactics. It's hard to choose from one or the other when conservatives are telling me they're right and how evil the liberals are, and then liberals turn around and tell me they're right and it's those conservatives who are evil.

Both sides should know better.

Since when did politics become telling you how horrid the other side is and how life will just get worse and worse with them, the implication being that the person doing the talking has all the answers and life will be vastly improved under them - until the "other side" gets control of another branch of the government and derails everything? One day, I'd like to sit down with a bunch of arguments/speeches/debates/what have you from both conservatives and liberals. I would just start marking the similarities. Sure, the overall thrust is different, but they use a lot of the same words and rhetorical devices to get you there. I wonder if either side would hear such a comparison? I bet they wouldn't believe it.

Ideology is a terrible thing when it blinds you to something. It's a worthless thing when it blinds you to the fact that you're no better than the folks you are railing against. Moral superiority is a terrifying thing indeed.

I may lose my stomach lining because of it, but I'm going to keep hoping that one day politics will figure out that demonizing the opposition isn't the way to improve our country and it's certainly not helping society in general.

Happy Hubby, Sick Wife

Mark had a bit of a blah time last week. And, since he never responded with anything when I asked him "Are you OK?", I just assumed he was tired and didn't help him with his blahs. I realized Friday that Something Was Wrong (not majorly wrong, but enough), and decided to kidnap him and boost his spirits. I had a great time Friday afternoon, putting together a list of six options and typing them up with a neat background. I gave him a sheet of paper with 6 Powerpoint slides, each one with the title of "Abduction Package #X". Then I picked him up a little early from work and whisked him away to the destination of his choosing. He chose Package #1: Dinner and games at Dave&Busters, followed by Return of the King. After dinner and enough skee ball to last Mark for a few months, we swung into Best Buy before the movie. We went a little nuts picking up some CDs and DVDs, but nothing too crazy. Then we watched the movie and went home to crash (a 3.5 hour movie will take a lot out of you). We spent Sunday watching the DVDs we picked up the night before: Red Dawn (Mark had never seen this 80s cheese), Pulp Fiction (both of us hadn't seen it in five years or more), and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (with 12 whole new minutes!). It was an impressive trip down memory lane and helped Mark fully shake off the blahs.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to write. Priorities are priorities, though. Mark is far more important than my books. And the weekend wouldn't have been a total wash were it not for me being pretty sick yesterday. The tummy wasn't pleased, my dizzy spells kicked into high gear, and I felt exhausted. It was all I could do to get the laundry done as I huddled under the blankets and watched TV. My stomach seems to be better today, as does the fatigue, but the dizziness is still hanging around. Bleh.

Patience, Grasshopper

Fate's been busy. Long story short, I'm tossing my name into the hat for a research assistant/technical editor job at CU. This opportunity fell into my lap this morning. I'd be teaching science writing, editing research articles, that sort of thing. This is so up my alley. And they're pretty excited because they usually get journalism types (in fact, that's what they were asking for), but they're interested in someone with a scientific background like mine. Way cool. I've spent as much time as possible today spiffing up my resume, writing a cover letter for it, and lining up my references. And I've loved every second of it. I'm more than a little spastic because the more I read about this position and the work I'd be doing, the more I can see myself doing it and loving it, and the more I can see how much my resume kicks ass. I'm ready to interview right now. Let me at 'em. I'll blow 'em away. Knock 'em dead. Tell 'em I'm so good with English that I know how to abuse it with words like "'em".

But I've got to be patient. This is a virtue that comes easier with time, right? Because I'm not where near mastering it right now.

Background Music It Ain't

Last night I remembered someting I had meant to blog about two weeks ago. I was very happy forgetting about this particular thing because it involves bad music. Two weeks ago, I found myself twitching during my critique group meeting at a local Borders. The background music was a little louder than usual. And the songs were recognizable, cheesy 80s tunes - but remade in reggae and funk. It was painful to hear. I'm a child of the 80s and I loved the cheesy music that decade produced. But these were not reggae bands, and covering one of those songs in such a fashion is just...wrong. It was a terrible experience to recognize the original song, perk up the ears to listen and wallow in 80s nostalgia, and then to be brutally tortured with, "Ya, who's gonna take ya home, mon."

Why did I remember I wanted to blog about this last night? They were playing the same album at last night's crit group session. If they're playing it the next time we have a meeting, we will not suffer silently.

Ah, the True Marriage of Science and Technology

Via Jenny, I now link to the livejournals of Spirit and Opportunity.

Priorities, Anyone?

OK, as a Notre Dame and Colorado alumna, I'm very used to football and athletic programs in general dominating a school. That's not why I went to ND, though. I went because I wanted to study biochemistry and ND has a great program in that. I went because I wanted to join a research lab as an undergrad and ND has an excellent undergrad research program. I went because I wanted a campus where I felt at home and ND has to be one of the friendliest and most welcoming campuses I've seen. Before I accepted ND's offer of admission, I had no idea who Lou Holtz was. I had no idea who Ron Paulus was (and, let me tell you, I would've been much happier never knowing about that piece of work). During the orientation weekend, Lou Holtz himself gave a speech to the incoming freshmen, telling us that the football players were just normal students like us. They ate at the same dining hall, they went to the same classes, yadda, yadda, yadda. I believed the man for two whole days until I went to work at the dining hall and manned the athlete's dining area (separate because the dining hall closed at 7 and practice for most if not all of the athletics on campus ended right about that time). The food was much better for the "training table," as it was called. I didn't think it was such a big deal, though, since working there meant that I got to gawk at Pat Garrity on a daily basis (the man was also a biochemistry major - up until his senior year, don't get me started on that - with at 3.7 GPA and an undergrad research project in addition to being the Big East MVP; unfortunately, he was dating a volleyball player, who I also got to see at the training table every day).

Anyway, I learned pretty quick that things were different for athletes. They had better scholarships, they could miss a lot of class and still pass (I'm sure they had to do the work for it), they had an entire squad of tutors I couldn't have access to, etc etc. But I still wouldn't trade those four years for anything. They were a great part of my life. And as soon as I have money to donate, I'll be sending some in that direction, though with the stipulation that it only goes to the College of Science. So when my alma mater struggles in a football season, sure I'll get miffed. But would I write and/or sign something like this? NO. What a waste of time and influence. I think of all the things that ND needs to make itself an even better university, and I don't think of things like criticizing the football program for "plac[ing] more importance on making money than winning games." First of all, as far as I've heard in college football, the only way to make money is to win games. The two can't be separate issues. So 400 of my fellow alums get points for stupidity. Secondly, of course the football program is focusing on bringing in cash. That's the name of the game at any university. Or are these Fabulous 400 thinking that in order to start winning games, the football program shouldn't concern itself with making money and that they'd be more than happy to pick up the bill should any revenue be lost?

I guess this (along with this, which led to my finding the letter in the first place) just makes me ask if they're scholastic athletes or athletic scholars. And if universities should be so focused on dollar signs that they are willing to sacrifice their educational mission to keep the booster, athletes, coaches, fans, and, apparently, storied-football-lunatic alums happy and donating. When I think about ND, I'm more worried about it's degree programs losing their punch then I am about it's football program. I don't know if that's supposed to make me a disloyal Fightin' Irish fan, or just smart.

Non-Writing Weekend

So last week saw some interesting non-writing developments. Nothing concrete, but my resume was praised and deposited in a pool for a more technical job. I'm hoping this will be the job that gets me energized and engaged in science again - not in research, but in something more multidisciplinary. I'll have more to gab about on this as I learn more myself. Suffice to say, a lot happened in the job world last week. Things clicked loudly and quickly and rather advantageously. The last time every thing fell into place in this way, I had a job teaching high school science about three weeks after I started looking. Which is both scary and heartening for this round of Fate Steps In. Scary because my teaching job went the way it went. And heartening because I landed that job and I learned so much about myself before, during, and after that job.

Anyway, it was a non-writing weekend because I was a tad bit overwhelmed with how well things went in the new job potential. I knew that if I tried to revise or write, I would distract myself thinking about the new job potential. I know when my brain is poised to immerse itself in Overdrive on an issue. After spending all day at work on Friday trying to distract myself from overthinking the matter, I realized I need to bury myself in a book for the weekend (when I wasn't doing the Valentine's Day celebration thing or the baby shower thing - more on that to come). After hearing the name Jennifer Crusie in several internet writing-type sites, I decided to read the woman's books. I picked up Faking It Friday evening and jumped into it head first. Excellent, excellent read. Laughed out loud the whole way through. I got about halfway through it Friday night, got within 75 pages or so of the ending Saturday morning, then paused to run some errands and do the whole Valentine's Day dinner thing, (Oh. My. God. The Boulder Cork is an amazing place. I had the most delicious buffalo prime rib and a to-die-for bottle of a zinfandel/syrah mix. Mark continued his phenomenal gift-giving trend with a white gold tanzanite and diamond set - did I mention I love this man?) and then finished it Sunday morning before I had to trot off to a baby shower. To complete my weekend of Non-Writing and Non-Thinking, I watched Terminator 3 with Mark and then crashed.

Now it's Monday, and I need to start thinking and writing again. In fact, I'm wishing I had done just a bit of writing yesterday. Is it a good or bad sign when I try to give myself a weekend off, and I end up thinking how I could have done X, Y, and Z with my writing instead of reading or veging? At any rate, it was a nice, relaxing weekend. Read a good book, ate a good meal, drank some very nice wine, gave the brain a break.

Random Science Blogging

I just realized that it's been a while since I've wandered through Nature's Science Update. Found some neat items. Scientists are tinkering around with bacterial intercellular signaling, a very cool field. I remember asking my cell bio teacher about how a bacterial cell "knew" how to move toward a food source. All he told me was "signaling". I was very disappointed. I'm glad someone's studying this in depth.

By now, everyone's likely heard that South Korea has gotten stem cells for cloned human embryos, but what you haven't heard is that stem cells are being used in clinical trials not for diabetes or Alzheimer's research, but for something, erm, cosmetic. Granted, these are stem cells culled from the patient seeking augmentation, not from a human embryo, so the moral debate isn't concerned, and adult stem cells are rather tricky about differentiating into something more useful for the big name research issues. But, it still makes you blink.

Now that the politicians have decided it's vogue to talk about a space program in serious terms again, we can expect to see more of this. I'm just waiting to hear about the genetics and terraforming research. That's the groovy stuff.

And, of course, more cool Mars stuff. I also hope that someone is compiling a CD of the Rovers' wake-up songs. I'll bet it'll be one of those deals you see on late-night TV. "This collection is not available in stores! Call now to receive all five discs of 'Rovin' to the Music' for only $49.95! Operators are standing by!"

Happy Birthday, Blog

One year ago today, this blog came into existance. Drop a comment and wish it a happy first birthday.

You Mean They Weren't Married?

All those years of sleeping in the same toy box, and it turns out Ken and Barbie were never really married. And now they're calling it quits. I don't know about you, but I can't possibly pull myself together after this.

Rumors

I haven't been a part of corporate America for very long, barely a year and a half. So I don't know if "layoff rumors" are a common thing or not. I'm sorta used to hearing them around work - science was probably one of the worst rumor mills I ever worked in. But it's really strange when you go to the mall and shop Bath and Body Works (with a buy anything, get lotion free coupon!!) and the clerk there has not only heard the layoff rumors but can also add to them. Yes, according to the woman who sold me my foot lotion, the IBM Boulder site will be shutting down. I think this was also confirmed by another secretary's nurse during her recent mammogram. I'm very surprised my hairdresser at Cost Cutters on Monday had nothing to contribute. Maybe our server at the Boulder Cork will provide his take on the issue over wine during our cozy Valentine's Day meal. Who knows? Maybe the official announcement will be heard on a local radio morning show.

Egoboo

I just realized today that, since my thesis is in the University of Colorado library and available for checkout, I can plug my name into the library catalog's "author" search and find a book by me! Pretty cool, eh?

Fun Typo

I was reading something on the net and came accross a new typo. The "loyal" servant became the "loyalist" servant. I dunno, maybe it was intended as a quick way to introduce this servant and perhaps the master's political leanings. But it still made me chuckle.

Another Learning Experience?

After all my great words yesterday, I went home to see about plotting for The Masque and got really frustrated when the plot just wouldn't come. Frustration on the "I'll never be a successful writer" level. Just hours after I was all patient with getting published. Maybe I should start looking into bipolar disorders....

It took an hour, but I eventually realized that everything was OK. The plot would come to me, I'll write this book, I'll learn from it. I guess I was just super excited with the new writing software I'm trying out and with the new characterization method I sampled (tarot cards). I got quite a few ideas about the plot from the character readings, but they were vague. I tried to make them specific last night by sketching a storyboard on the software. I got very frustrated very fast. I should've expected it, really. I'm not good at pre-planning. I'm trying to con my muse out of this. Extensive revisions are difficult and make it hard to catch some of the subtler problems that need fixing. The more details about plot and characters that I know as I write the first draft, the less work I have in revisions. I'm already light years ahead of myself in the character department compared to Human Dignity. But the vague plot issues are bugging me.

I need to just get over it and keep plugging forward, sketching plot outlines and such as it comes to me and keeping it all organized so that way revisions are as easy as possible. And maybe by the time I'm ready to start the next book, I'll have learned enough about myself, my muse, and my writing process to help me have more than a vague idea about what's going to happen in that book when I'm writing it.